Urban Marinade

It’s a little sad to say, but the play on words surrounding the new Meatballs establishment in Penn Quarter is probably it’s best quality. I mean, who doesn’t love saying the word “balls?” Eating the food at this new restaurant in my downtown hood is a different story. There isn’t a lot of love being shared between diners and the staff.

Meatballs opened up a few weeks ago with much fanfare because it included food rock stars Michel Richard and Mark Bucher as contributors to the concept. And the concept is quite simple. You step up to a counter and order any type of meatball and then choose your vessel/sauce, Chipotle-style. You can select a side and drink and then off you go to enjoy meatball heaven.

The good: I ordered a classic meatballs and had them put on the garlic baguette with a standard marinara sauce. I also ordered a side of tator-tots. The food was decent. I didn’t get sick. I didn’t gag at any of the flavors. The bread was toasted nicely and wasn’t over seasoned with garlic butter. The tator-tors were baked just enough to have that crunchy outside layer with a kinda soft center. And they had a nice seasoning of salt to keep me happy.

The bad: The meatballs were a little gummy in the center and didn’t really pack any flavor. The tator-tots tasted good, but looked like they had been through a meat grinder. The service kinda sucked. They had 5 people behind the counter. Two appeared to actually be working. Three just stood around. The lady who took my order was super friendly with a nice smile, but then the girl that moved my sandwich down the line appeared to be somewhere else. The dining room isn’t terribly small, but they’ve packed so many small tables into the room, you feel as though you can’t move. When the guy behind me got up, I felt his entire chair slam into my back. At least 3 or 4 tables were dirty the entire time I was there.

As Tom Sietsema of the Washington Post says, if your business is about one particular product (the meatball), then you better do that really well. Unfortunately I think Meatballs misses the mark. Hopefully Richard and Bucher can help them improve, or else I fear someone will be leasing office space with the word Balls written along the conference room wall. At least it’s a fun word to say.